Last Monday, on what would have been our nineteenth wedding anniversary, I stood with our children looking down at the Grand Canyon. Keeping a promise that you and I had made them a couple of years before –that we would make our next family adventure a visit to the Grand Canyon. I missed you and wished you could have been here to laugh at the boys’ comments. If you could ask Ethan, he would tell you that “It’s just a really big ditch, Dad.”
I lingered at the edge longer than they wanted. It was warm, and they were ready for ice cream. I could have stayed all day and watched the sun set.
Already on this westward journey, I had navigated across seven states (if you count ours- which I did since we live in the northeastern quadrant of it.) I had driven to the top of Pike’s Peak and back down—all without overheating the engine or the brakes, thank you very much. While we were at the top, we decided to try the famous high-altitude doughnuts. Out of habit, I ordered five. I didn’t even realize I had done it until Megan asked me whom the extra one was for. None of us could bring ourselves to eat it.
I wish you could have been with us to see all the tumbleweeds in Utah and Arizona. The kids thought they were so amusing, rolling across the road ahead of us and getting all tangled up in the fence so that it looked as though someone had lined them up like wispy round hay bales. Sometimes one would roll under the car in front of us (when there was another car, that is) and explode into bits as it hit the undercarriage.
I wish you could have been there at the Lincoln Log Cabin in Illinois when just as Henry had finished teasing Megan for wigging out as a cicada buzzed by her, one landed on his shoulder and he ran around screaming his head off. We all laughed for what seemed like twenty minutes after that.
We saw so many beautiful places, and I think the kids will remember this adventure for many years to come. I know you would be proud of us, proud of me. And though you couldn’t be with us in person, you were there in our hearts. We sure do miss you.
12 comments:
There is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Jeff is just on the other side of the veil and traveling with you, laughing about the cicada , enjoying the tumbling tumbleweeds. There is something about the Grand Canyon that enjoins all our spirits, past, present and future, into a Soul we cannot imagine but in whose heart we are no longer alone.
Peace be with you, and with your spirit, Adrienne.
Adrienne-
Thank you for sharing your heart.
There is so much love there, and such
a spirit of joy and peace, that you
have touched the depth of my heart.
What a blessing you have given your
children, as well.
And the strength to drive all that way
by yourself and stand up to keeping that promise on your own- you are a brave and amazing woman.
The donuts made me cry. The cicada made me laugh out loud. And in all of it, I agree with Oak... Jeff is there, just not quite visible. Laughing with you, and probably wanting to reach out and grab his donut. I still pray... for God to fill up that seemingly endless hole in your hearts with HIS love... which is, most definitely, endless. No matter how deep the ache, He is deeper. No matter how hard the path, He provides the refreshment that will get you through. Love you, dear sister in Christ... and so proud of you for keeping that promise!
You are woman, hear you roar! lol I can't believe how brave you were to drive that trip-Jeff would be VERY proud. I am proud of you too-your strength is amazing and an unbelievable example for your kids. Praying for you and continued strength on the journeys ahead. Glad you had a wonderful and safe trip to the "ditch." Plus, we are glad to have you back in FB world-we missed you! :)
Neat post, Adrienne... Made me teary. I didn't realize that it was your anniversary... What a wonderful trip --and you know that Jeff was truly right there with all of you. God Bless.
Hugs,
Betsy
Thanks so much for sharing.
Oh friend,
I'm still praying for you daily. I'm so excited that you found the strength to take this journey! You are right in that the kids will remember it for years to come!
You made some wonderful memories on that trip. I am proud of you for being able to drive that far. I don't like driving on highways, especially when there are big trucks. I don't like them passing me, but I can't pass them unless the highway is straight and flat.
such a full rich post. such strong emotions, a treasure. What a special trip! one to remember for always. always.
I love that you write *to* him. I'm convinced he knows everything you're saying to him.
I also like that you have multiple blogs--so do I. :) If you're interested:
Loving From the Inside Out: http://lovingfromtheinsideout.blogspot.com
Connie's Project: Reclaim: http://conniesprojectreclaim.blogspot.com/
Adrienne,
This was beautiful. I'm so glad you were able to take this trip...and Jeff was still a part of it. I'm not sure I could handle a big trip like that...I do believe God did give you grace for your journey.
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